Tuesday, 19 April 2011

And here come the feelings.....

Having a few man issues and really need to vent my frustration! Anybody else got that one person that you always go back to, that one person that is probably the most perfect guy in the world for you, yet somehow nothings ever really happened? I’ve got myself one of those. We’ve been on and off for years (literally, I think it’s been about 4 years!) sometimes publicly, sometimes not. I’d probably say he was one of my best friends, and I also fancy the pants off him. He was the one that got me into dubstep (some of my friends still haven’t forgiven him for that…!) and I’d probably say over 20% of the songs on my ipod have some relevance to how I felt about him at some point in time. I’ve even got a text saved that he send me a couple of summers ago that said: ‘chillin in the garden listing to the streets with the lads, this day can only be topped off by seeing my girl later’. Massive CRINGE but also kind of sweet that I still have this? So what do you do when said boy comes back into your life and tells you that he still has feelings for you.

I wonder if it is actually possible to be with someone when you’ve been through so much apart? Some of the things I’ve done I am certainly not proud of, there’ve been tears and I’ve also been pretty happy in one relationship that ended badly but I do still sort of miss. I don’t think I’m even slightly the same person as I was back then, yet I still have exactly the same feelings as I did when we met way before I started uni. I still get moths (butterflies….sorry private joke) and I still always want to ring him and sing down the phone when a certain song comes on the radio.  

And now there’s suddenly a big fat elephant in the room and I don’t dare mention us or what’s going to happen with us now, which is pretty stupid considering I don’t want to loose him to someone else again. I’d love nothing more than for him to turn around and say lets start again, from the beginning, take it slow and see what happens. If only I could open my big mouth that I can never usually keep shut, and say something….

On a slightly different note, here’s a few outfit posts from the past few days.

For work: top is a man's with the sleeves cut out from Primark, shorts are Topshop and shoes are Vans from Office

Went out for dinner Sunday night: shirt is Primark ages ago, jeans are Miss Selfridge and Wedges are my new ones from Forever 21

Work yesterday: Shoes tights belt and dress all from Primark. 

Palazzo pants looking a bit see-through in the top picture there!! Oooops! Vest is topshop, jewellery is all Miss Selfridge, Palazzo pants are Primark and Jacket is H&M. 

Right I need to shower, tan and sleep off all these feelings I'm having, I'm sure it's not healthy....


  1. I couldnt possibly give you any man advice as ive made a few mistakes in my time, all i would say is just follow your gut instinct with it all, you obv hav big feelings for this lad... or be really brave and ask him what you wana ask, n see if you can start fresh, whatever his answer is your prob best knowing but easier said than done i know. I wish you all the luck with it an hope you get the outcome you want :) :) On a diff note you look fab in the pics, i hav the blue primark pants love them 2 bits but not worn them yet, not sure I could pull them off with my 5ft 3 frame BUT im a massive fan of big heels so thats my plan :) :) xx

  2. Thank you! I have to wear them with flats or they start flapping round my ankles but I do love them, so comfortable!
    And thanks for the advice, it's all a bit of a work in progress so I'm just being patient!!